I remember when I was a child the very day I decided that I wanted to become a sorcerer when I grew up. You ever seen Fantasia? It was a long time ago. Far back enough that I do not remember when I saw it, but it remains to this day one of my earliest memories and notions of existence. Two things remain clear to me as I watched the Sorcerer’s Apprentice. Firstly that the sorcerer’s magic hat looked wicked cool (I might have used different words at the time since I don’t think I knew that many back then). Secondly, I wanted to be a manipulator of magic when I grew up.

One of the saddest days in my life happened when I was in the third grade, and I came home one day crying to my parents about how everyone at school was saying that Santa Claus didn’t exist. It took my parents a few days to work up the courage to tell me that it was my father who dressed up every year. In that moment I understood that the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and magic didn’t exist. I knew I would never be a sorcerer. I was crushed. A small part of me still wants to believe.

Armed with existential philosophy and ridiculous arguments one can justify the existence of magic and some unknown unseen force blah blah blah. Many of my friends claim to be adepts in the art. It’s just not the same. I re-watched the Sorcerer’s Apprentice a few years ago in Fantasia 2000. It was so much fun. Made me feel like a child again, and I walked out feeling warm and safe, and secure that the world wasn’t all that bad. I was also high, but I don’t think that influenced the feeling much.