The last few days have produced a series of interesting events and anecdotes which will probably result in a rather long discourse. However in the defence of the fact that I have not written in several days, it is justifiable. And so without further a due please find outlined most of the transpirations of the last few days of my life.

As many of you know I was in St. Louis, these past few days, visiting someone, who by unanimous decision, has been dubbed St. Louis (sorry girl I was not consulted on this one). Anywho I departed on Tuesday afternoon and got nailed in a traffic jam which resulted in me only having to wait about 15 minutes before boarding my flight. See? See? I said about not aboot hahahahaha. But I digress.

The flight was bumpy, sending us over many a rain cloud and thunderstorm. We landed heavily on the tarmac in Minneapolis, and I had 2 hours to kill. 2 hours later, we were up in the air again, and I was dozing. There was a young man sitting next to me, boasting a harsh southern accent. He was acting all excited and jumpy like it was his first time on an airplane. I was planning on ignoring him until he shook me awake so that I could focus my attention on the windows. Outside lighting rained all around us. The captain came on the speaker advising the stewardess to stop what she was doing and strap herself in. Her tone was that of concern. It scared us all. The next thirty minutes were spent in absolute silence, the dull roar of the engine in the background, the moment threatening to be pierced by a stray thunderclap. Lightning danced for us in an amazing display which created a sensation of awe and fear within me. I could see the clouds above the storm and those below. It was beautiful. It was terrifying. In the end we weaved out of the cloud and escaped the wrath of nature. I believe that I have been privileged to a display of forces which has been denied to many men and slain many others. It leaves me with a feeling of respect for physics.

The plane descended and we bounced onto the runway, the winds blowing hard in an attempt to banish us from the concrete. However the skills of the pilot defeated the elements and we arrived safely. I deplaned, walked over to the terminal, located my luggage, and finally met with St. Louis who I hadn’t seen in almost 6 years.

Our reunion was strange at first, but time quickly dissolved our preconceptions and our friendship resumed to its former glory.

St. Louis turned out to be a more interesting city than expected. The downtown is riddled with buildings in the neoclassical architectural style which I am so fond of. It was clean, nice, hot and humid. On some days we didn’t go out of her place fearing the wrath of the sun and the moisture in the air. All in all it was fun. I threw around many aboots and, got the crap kicked out of me on several occasions. I was credited with having a “strong Canadian accent.” Not bad ay? I played along with the “Canadian” thing for the most part. Those who asked, however were disappointed to find out that I was a mere citizen of the US. Ahh well.

I purchased “If Chins could Kill,” Bruce Campbell’s autobiography. It’s hilarious.

In St. Louis the PFK is actually called KFC. What an interesting notion!

I watched a lot of the Olympics including the closing ceremony. It was fun. I caught up on some heavy TV which I've been missing out on for the past few years since well I just don’t watch TV. I think I got most of it out of my system. Saw some good movies and other things. In the evenings we’d go out to bars or clubs. Alas her tastes in music did not always match mine, but I was most amused by watching young males and females participating in the time honoured courting ritual which gets many of us no where unless the target is sufficiently diluted with alcohol. I was amused.

St. Louis plays a good game of pool. I was both impressed and offended when she beat me in the first game. I came back of course being the personification of masculinity that I am, but I couldn’t help but feel somewhat castrated by that first defeat. She rubbed it in my face too.

Tuesday morning found me awake before 7 AM with a groggy mind of someone who hadn’t obtained sufficient sleep the previous evening. Nevertheless I dressed and packed. The trip back was riddled with a relatively cloudless sky and stable winds. A short stop in Detroit and boom I was in Montreal again. A few phone calls later found me at Café Campus shaking my ass to 60s 70s 80s rock n’ roll.

Thus ends my story. I am a better man. I have grown, I have learned, I didn’t gain a level but I’m confident that there was some exp involved somewhere.

We are pleased to appoint the Minister of Fashion to the Cabinet. I trust that he will perform splendidly in his duties and look forward to working with him in the future.